This is a very beautiful question. When I studied to become a yoga teacher, we would all get this question. And our teacher would say: "What does it mean to you, is your answer". And if we don't know, we are up to figure it out. In Hindu meaning yoga, it is to yoke, in other words, to unite.
Back at the time, our teacher asked this question, I was certain about my answer. To me, yoga meant and means unity till today. I did not know the hindu meaning until years after. But I have developed a good sense of figuring the meaning for myself. Today I see the question as a given seed and my answer as the soil where the seed is planted. And this seed is growing, according to my devotion and my practice. Unity is a simple word, with a simple yet vast meaning. So why I was certain about my answer? Honestly, I didn't know what everything will unfold, from the moment when I sat alone in my room after sunset, opened a basic book with yoga asanas, and took the courage to perform them, uncertain about the outcome. I must say, there must have been other things in motion, that led me to that book. I did not know at all, what yoga means, and I mean as a complex system, not at all that I will find my meaning. The thing is, my devotion to yoga grew over the years.
I love to feel that unity that takes place on the mat or carpet (at my humble beginnings with yoga) when the muscles tramble, and I tune into the right alignment and consciously try to release that tension and breathe deeply in, filling up my belly and my chest, and slowly breathe out. And I try to convince myself to breathe slowly up to five breaths, as the book said. And the feeling after when it is over before realizing, the other side is in order to perform the asana. And the feeling when I move from one asana, one side, the other side, to the next asana, and it just repeats, one asana at a time. Five slow breaths each asana. And it never changes. Hahaha. And that is a good thing, even tho I know what asana is coming, and I get better to align my limbs into the position to let the prana freely flow inside the nadis (invisible channels for life force energy), the effort is the same. The inner talk is like: "Do I have the feet in the right position? Should I turn the leg inward or outward? Why am I falling? Could I do only three breaths? Is it cheating? Am I squeezing the right muscles? Wow, when I extend the spine like this, it feels better. Wow, this means to draw from the hips. Wow, this is how it feels to extend the spine. Wow, my body is so unique. Wow, this is what it means to have the palms underneath shoulders. Wow, I can do it. Wow, this feels so good. Wow, two more breaths, it's like an eternity. Wow, I will never do it. Wow, today I am just so miserable. Wow, today I want it to be like this every day. Savasana, finally, aaaaah". And so on.
But the connection, the connection is very unique during the yoga. I let the experience do the talking, and I try to do my best to listen. Sometimes more successfully than other times, and sometimes not at all.
Now from a different corner. Guess what, my very first mat was pink. My second one was purple, and my third one is made with a cork surface and the print of chakras on it. This is truly one piece of equipment I am the most loyal to, haha. And I can say, that each of the mats stayed with me for five years. And the second one flew with me to Bali. And when the time came to say goodbye to the old mat, I always kept it somewhere in the corner for a few more months, already practicing on the new one.
Why am I telling it? I played for five years and successfully and with great love floorball (kind of hockey). A team sport I really fell in love with, where we shared with other girls twice a week our great joy together. Sweating, running like crazy, coming home with the bruises from the hit of the ball or the hockey stick, or the hit of the ball when running after the ball and getting to it faster than the girl from the other team, ignoring the wall, where the ball was next to. And I have never gotten my own hockey stick. I was convinced if I will get one then I will stop playing. So I never got one. And I absolutely don't regret it. I have always had the one I could borrow at the gym. But yoga mat, that is a very different story. I can absolutely rely on it. Morning, evening, or anytime during the day. I even love just to sit on it and create, read, or work, and ultimately, it is where my meditation is happening.
For me, it is on the yoga mat, where so many things happen. Absolutely better understanding of my body, and embracing its specific curves, how to move it, how to align, how to place it in the position according to and with respect to its unique shape, and not judge its limitations, rather be patient. The connection to breathing, developing, longer and calmer breathing. It feels so good to me, to extend my muscles, move my joints, in a yoga slow fashion, and just breathe. It so much helped me to move better, and breath better in other sports. It feels better. Who would say?
Thank you for reading, I hope whoever reads it, will find some inspiration, because that is the intention of it.
Anna
