LOG 1: THE POST IS OPEN, THE READING BEGINS
Here we are. First, let me introduce the "OPEN POST". This is a new idea of blogging, which came to my mind. The open post means, writing one post on continue, alongside reading a book. It is going to look like journaling with individual new logs, and it will be completed after finishing reading the book.
Also "OPEN POST" gives a space to share your public comments and opinion below.
This is a trial because it is the first time I would like to try it. And for this opportunity, I have chosen the book HAPPY DAYS by Gabrielle Bernstein.
Gabby is certainly one of my favorite authors and guides in personal and spiritual development. HAPPY DAYS is my sixth book by Gabby, which I have purchased in my library. In May I have completed also Gabby's BESTSELLER MASTERCLASS, and the result of this course you can see already now reflected in my pages, which basically were created under Gabby's coaching and guidance.
The book has been published on 22.2.2022. As Gabby declares it is not coincidental, but intentional because number plays a major part in her life. And the same in mine. Tho I was waiting for the purchase of this book because simply I didn't feel it is the right time for me. At that time, I read another book by Gabby "SPIRIT JUNKIE". And it was the right book at the right time. This book helped me to point in the right direction. During the lockdown, I started to study A COURSE IN MIRACLES, which I intended to do for some time. But I kind of lost track. I took a break for almost a year until my inner guide directed me to SPIRIT JUNKIE. Which is basically a memoir about life with A COURSE IN MIRACLES and applications of its principles. One thing leads to another, and here we are.
It is not important to make a big load of work and a major shift in a short time, but rather focus on consistency with subtle daily shifts. Neither the ocean has appeared in one day. The result is granted, and more appreciated. Let's savor the moment and everything that comes with it. Just one instant in the present moment, after another. Like frenches says "Petit par petit.". And they know, how to savor the moment.
And with that thought, I finish the first log of my first OPEN POST.
LOG 2: THE BLUE BUTTERFLY
I kind of overwhelmed myself in the past quarter of the year, the Spring time, and because my habit is not to take a break after finishing one thing, I immediately start another and push over the limit of my energy, I hit the wall. I have planned to read this book in just a few days, in June, when the level of work I put on myself, truly surprised even me. Anyway, I was literally pushed by my friend to take a break, because, once I cross the line, I don't see, I enter into that state of the constant drive, and I become blind to the clues like high irritability, reactivity, nightmares, insomnia, isolation, working harder, finishing the things up no matter what, and just keep fighting not knowing why.
And so we are in July, after being pushed to take a break, I allowed myself to see, and I allowed myself to take it easy right now. And so I continue to read the book and be nice to myself. And this is what happened. All of this is beautifully mentioned just in the first chapters of the book, and I just can relate to that. And maybe also that's why it is easier to kind of slow down. Because behind that drive was kind of numbing. July and August are subconsciously for me the scariest months of the year. I did not know exactly why, but I do everything possible before the Summer holidays come to work hard, in order to keep that drive and mood further into these two months. But when the 1st of July comes, no matter how hard I tried, I am overwhelmed with panic attacks, I feel extremely sad, I cannot sleep, and anxiety and fear wash over me, I feel lonely, and lost. I have already done some work on trauma and realized what happened to me as a child. What I did not realize was when it happened, and today I continued reading the book, and suddenly it hit me. The Summer.
After realizing it, and when all the dots suddenly fell in place, I felt great relief and a state of immediate peace. I am not going to reveal what has happened in detail, because that is very uncomfortable for me, and not necessary. I have been molested by a boy superior to me, and it hasn't been taken care of back then, and nobody knew. But what unfolded after the incident was whole weeks in Summer being home voluntarily, closed in my room, refusing to go outside on the playground, fearing bullying and another molestation. I am grateful that I have been guided to this book, again the right book, at the right time. I feel incredible relief. And it kind of feels like really a circle being closing with this book.
And this is what happened next. So Gabby writes about how she asked for a sign of a blue butterfly if she was on the right path, and then she surrendered, went to visit her in-laws, and on the way there she saw a truck with stickers of blue butterflies. And I am thinking "Wow, the blue butterfly that's so crazy and so specific sign, that cannot happen to me.". At the same time I am thinking: "But I know how it feels to ask for the sign, and it shows up, it feels really really great, and I just love it.". Nevertheless, this is a blue butterfly, I keep saying to myself. I just saw the other day, well, saved a brown butterfly to get outside the window, as he struggled to get out, being closed inside. And I have no idea how he got in.
So I closed the book, after finishing reading a chapter, and I just think very hesitantly "Blue butterfly, the sign, I ask for a sign of a blue butterfly that I am on my right path.". Now I swear it goes like that. In one second I open the free resources to the book, to listen to bilateral music, but I don't have Spotify, so in another second, I open YouTube, I write "bilateral music" and search, I look at the cover pictures of the music, and I choose one where are turtles. In another second, I click, the music opens and there is a HUGE BLUE BUTTERFLY! I started to laugh out loud! I mean this was extremely fast! I mean, yeah, I swear! And actually, if I'd been just a little bit brighter, I'd noticed, that the butterfly was already next to the cover picture in a small circle, the first thing.
Manifestation of a sign in just 3 seconds. Crazy!
And with that, I am closing my today's blog LOG. And let me tell you this, buy the book! This is a life investment, and I mean it!
LOG 3: AFFIRMATIONS
LOG 4: HAPPY DAYS
Happy days is not only the name of the book, but the last chapter, and this is it. The fourth and the last log. Because I did it. I have finished reading the book. I have learned about myself, in a whole new way, a profound way. These past 14 days, when I was reading the book, were not easy, but absolutely worth it. I have tapped into the places of darkness, hidden emotions, and pain. I feel relief, and I feel grateful. I am thankful, to get to the place to feel safe enough, to face the triggers, to learn about them, to look and acknowledge emotions, and safely let them go. I am grateful to learn about all the therapies and tools, and about the 4 S's, safety, soothing, being seen, and security. Creating healthy attachment. The new ways to take care of myself, my inner child, other children, other people, and my own future children.
I am grateful for being where I am, and I am truly honestly grateful for the last chapter of the book, because that one, was the one I was waiting for, and I did not know it. But I will not steal the pleasure to explore it on your own if you intend to buy the book, and learn about how to transform from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace.
I have learned, that when we are willing to change, to be truly happy, experience love, joy, peace, and bliss, and manifest our life beyond our wildest dreams, the Univers always shows up! And it shows up in the easiest possible way, and sometimes very creative, which may seem even confusing, but we gotta trust it, and just tune the vibes, and just trust our hearts. That's it! Only you know your path! Only your heart knows! And my heart was broken, due to the past traumas, and so it couldn't sing, and I would not listen without fear. So I know that Universe shows up to me, in the way of healing the injuries, so my heart can sing out loud with great joy, and I can listen to it wholeheartedly! Absolute sync!
I was so excited about my blue butterfly story, that I convinced my neighbor to ask for a sing, and she asked, and she has seen the blue butterfly. I know, she has seen the sing, because she truly meant it, and the wish was genuine when she asked for the sing, and that it showed up in the craziest easiest way, which stunned even me because I was a huge part of it. I was so excited about my 2-3 seconds manifestation of a blue butterfly sign, that I took all my courage, and I listened to my inner impulse and I wrote the author about it, the other day. The moment I have send her the message to her on Instagram, I went back, and the first thing I have seen was a post from @loveabrahamhicks saying:
I knew, exactly what it all meant. So in all my excitement, and joy, I have reposted it into my stories, and I have added a huge blue butterfly, and I shared it. My intention was pure joy and nothing else! I felt inspired and very happy. But because it is linked to FB, it was shared with my FB stories. And my neighbor wrote me later in the evening a message saying: "That's cheating!". I had no idea what she is talking about, and then she has send me the post I shared. Hahaha. I was laughing out loud again! That was no cheating! I know, that was the Universe showing up in the most amazing way! And it just feels amazing, to be part of this beautiful experience and let the sign be seen through me as well! THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!
I can't wait for more!
I 100% recommend this book to anyone. It may be triggering, but we have to always keep in mind, to seek professional help, when it becomes too overwhelming. Help is always available, and as Gabby says, therapists, yoga teachers, doctors, and others, are embodied angels, they are here to help.
THANK YOU!